Tuesday, December 19, 2017

Kazuo Ishiguro on HOLIDAY: "Screwball comedies were proto-feminist"

In the sunset of the year, knee-deep into my personal holiday film festival, I stumble on this video from January:  Kazuo Ishiguro talking about HOLIDAY (one of my tip-top fave movies) and saying things like, "Screwball Comedies were proto-feminist."


I mean, they're calling it THE HOLIDAY, when I'm pretty sure it's simply HOLIDAY.

But, still:  Fantastic.

Wednesday, August 23, 2017

Ass in the Wind-sday

I just got home to discover something horrifying; the jeans I wore today have a gigantic tear in the ass.

The entire ass seam, ripped wide open.

I don't know when the tear occurred.  I've been rethinking the day and...  It's big enough that I would have seen it when I put my jeans on this morning.  Even at my most sleepy, I would have noticed.  Plus, it was chilly this morning so I think I would have felt a breeze.

Yep, you read that right, the cherry on top of this mortifying sundae is I chose to not wear underwear today.

I don't recall hearing anything tear at any point.  And, before you joke, I've actually been losing weight lately, so it's not like I was super stressing the seams.

Here's a laundry list of thoughts pinging through my head right now:

  • Gasp.
  • Ugh.
  • Fuuuuuuuuuuuuck.
  • Really?  No one told me?  I mean, it would be awkward & delicate to tell someone about visible cheek, but you should do it.  Especially if it's someone you know and they're Mr. Magoo-ing their way toward breaking public decency laws.  As a nation, there's not much we agree on right now, but we can agree on that I'd think.  
  • Well, my game of low-maintenance limbo was always leading right here.  
  • Why was it that I started playing low-maintenance limbo, anyway?  Oh yeah, to be ugly and invisible.  To lay low until...  I'm not quite sure when.
  • Gasp.
  • Cringe.
  • Fuuuuuuuuuck.
  • I was wearing Birkenstocks today, perhaps people thought I was making a retro Summer of Love sort of a statement.
  • I am a middle aged lady, perhaps no one looks at my ass so no one saw it.  Strike that, let's make it affirmative:  No one looks at my ass.
  • Can we all go back to Eclipse Monday so I can be in awe of a different moon?
  • Oh, gawd, I went to coffee with my boss and he insisted on getting my coffee at the counter...  I thought it was because of my sprained ankle.  Oh gawd, the poor guy probably didn't want to have to tell me. 
  • Even if he didn't want to tell me, how in the hell did he not report me to HR and/or fire me.
  • I have a stay-cation next week; I had been planning a week of day-trips and writing and twice daily yoga and a massage and...  those plans have just been shredded, just like the ass seam in my jeans...  My staycation will be spent buying new clothes.  New clothes with strong seams.
  • And maybe some hair product.
  • And maybe some under eye concealer.
  • Sonofa...  I know better.  I used to be so. high. maintenance.  But then I got tired of it.  And didn't like what people projected onto me.  And so I made myself invisible, so nothing could be projected on me.  But this?  This is a bridge too far, I am no longer invisible.  I am exposed. 
  • G'ah!!!!!!
  • Fuuuuuuuck. 
Note:  This is not a polished post (obviously).  This is a:  I have talked to dear & trusted friends but I'm still gobsmacked at myself, and need to tell the whole world that if anyone saw my pale, middle-aged ass today, I'M SORRY!!!  You won't ever see it again because I am going to revert to my high-maintenance clothes-horse ways ASAP; BUT if you ever see any part of me that maybe you're feeling like you maybe shouldn't be seeing, PLEASE TELL ME!  We'll have a good laugh at my expense.  Eventually.

Also:  I may come back to finesse this post, but I promise to not eliminate any embarrassing details.

Finally:  I do have a photo of the tear, but I seriously can't bring myself to post it right now.  It's such a huge tear, you'll think I'm seriously the dumbest person in the world.  If you don't already.  Eitehr that or you'll think I have a serious medical sensory problem in my hiney region; I seriously do not know how I didn't feel...  oh, gawd.  Suffice to say, only a very limited audience gets to see that photo and see how truly...  ughhhhh.
  • Seriously.  Fuuuuuuuck.  
  • This embarrassment...  Hooo-doggie. 
  • I think, appearance-wise, I have hit bottom.
  • Fuuuuuck.
Now I'm off to trash all questionable clothing items.  Like, right now.  All the things my former high maintenance, clothes-horse self wouldn't have ever even worn to wash a car?  Out.  It's all leaving my home.  Tonight.  

Replacement goods...  Reinforcements...  Will start arriving tomorrow. 

Future viewings of my ass (and all bathing suit areas) will be by invitation only.  Gawd as my witness.

Thursday, December 1, 2016

Christmas Clip o' the Day: ELF & The Many Faces of Mandy Sue B.

I quote this scene all year long.  But not in a way that anyone would notice.

As much as I love Buddy's half of the conversation during December, it's two other bits I "quote" the other eleven months of the year.

ONE:  Whenever I get a chance to say "10 a.m." I will try to get my voice to sound as though I'm forcing cheer, but it's being hammered out by both exhaustion and profound irritation that is gurgling just beneath my surface.  The intended effect is like I'm waiting for someone to object to what I'm saying, and I'm prepared to stand my ground in the face of what I think is their obvious nonsense.

Of course all anyone hears is "10 a.m."  Plain and simple.

This brings me even more joy.  It's like a private screening, it lasts just an instant but man does it feel good.

TWO:  The other way I quote this scene not-in-a-way-that-anyone-would-notice is when this series of lines rolls through my head:  "Make work your favorite.  That's your favorite, OK?  Work is your new favorite."

These lines arrive when I'm faced with lackluster customer service and maybe, sometimes, maybe some workaday, workplace scenarios.  Maybe.  In the moment it's a relief and a joy to recall this character, but then nearly immediately after I am ashamed.  Why would I want anyone to make work their favorite?  Especially customer service.  Blech.

And that's when I push myself over to a more comfortable place for me to be, "I just like to smile.  Smiling's my favorite."

Welcome to Christmas Clip o' the Day 2016!  This may prove to be the only clip this year, so take. it. in!

Monday, August 31, 2015

Today: This and If | The King of Norway

I've been catching up with the final season of Boardwalk Empire lately.  Last night I saw the episode called The King of Norway, and today cannot stop watching this scene:

Seriously.  I've been nearly compulsive about watching this scene today.  Over and over and over and over.  It's so perfect in so many ways.  The writing, the acting...  The effort each character puts forth to keep their version of a civilized veneer in place...  It's simply delightful.

If an Eli & Nelson spin-off show had been possible, I would have watched.  Don't get me wrong, I'm happy it wasn't possible, things are better this without what would have inevitably been a terrible spin-off; but I love this team so much that I totally would have watched.

Wednesday, August 5, 2015

LOVE This Lady. | The Daily Show Moment of Zen | August 4, 2015

After the book promo (a great book, BTW), spend a moment appreciating the lady in the diner - LOVE her.