Friday, December 20, 2013

Christmas Clip O' the Day | All I Want for Christmas is to be Awesome... Or Maybe Feed the World... Or Maybe Temporarily Shut Down the Movie Industry.

I want to be Shannon Eis.

I want to be the pretty lady with awesome hair and faux leather pants showing Dave Letterman a selection of kids toys each Christmas.  I don't care what else I'd have to put up with for the rest of the year in order for this to happen, this is what I want to do.

Whoah.  I shouldn't say that.  I know better.

Shannon Eis' life could be a dark, dreary and unending hell.  Her life could make Annette Bening's in AMERICAN BEAUTY look tranquil.

At the top of the toy segment this year, Dave said something to Shannon that made me love him more.  And, honestly, I didn't think that was possible.  Dave asked Shannon what she thinks a $20 billion toy industry says about us as a country, and wonders if "maybe we shouldn't put that money elsewhere" because "people in this country need food."

I love this question because of what it is, standing on its own, but also because it reminded me of this Big Idea I have that's similar(ish).

Well, first, actually, I want to give you some background to my Big Idea...

From junior high well into adulthood, I would track the weekend box office report the way some people track sports teams.  I'd study upcoming releases, estimate whether they'd succeed or fail and by how much, and then prance about like an idiot when I was right.  And I was right, like, a lot.  But a few years back it all ceased to be fun.  Now when I hear the weekend box office take, my first thought is "all that money..."

And my second thought is usually "...  going to all those jerks."  Because most of them are.

So here it is for reals, my Big Idea:

One weekend per year, everyone planning to see a movie in a first-run theater instead chooses to donate what they would have spent on tickets, food, parking, etc. to one of ten charitable organizations.  A charity per top box office grosser.  The top ten movies usually pull in a healthy chunk of cash, and probably enough to make a difference to an organization, to a community, etc.  Or make a strong start, at least.  Then the next year, ten new organizations get that multi-million dollar benefit, and on and on and on.

It'd never happen because people seem confused these days, they seem to think pulling together is a threat to independence.  That one weekend out of fifty-two would be anti-business.  That not being able to pick charity outside of the ten would be unfairly restricting to their freedom.

And besides, "There's that Bradley Cooper movie I've been wanting to see opening that weekend.  Y'know the one...  Where he does that thing in the trailer...  Agh!  It looks soooooo good.  I need to see it NOW.  Besides, no one else will be at the theater this weekend because of that charity thing, so I'm going..."